Lawyer Jokes

It is often said that if you can't laugh at yourself, you need to lighten up. In the case of lawyer jokes, you might be surprised that many lawyers find them funny as well.

Lawyer Jokes

Mom Joke

When it comes to jokes, many suggest there is always a grain of truth in the joke. This may or many not be the case, but lawyer jokes certainly highlight the shadier characters in the business. Here are a few to make you grin.

1. A law student passes the bar examination and becomes licensed to practice law. He rents out a small office and goes about making the necessary calls to get everything turned on. As he is sitting in his office on the second day, he starts thinking that he needs to look like he is busy instead of a new lawyer. At just that moment, there is a knock on his door. The new attorney grabs his phone and begins talking in it as though he has a client. The door opens and he puts his hand of the phone and asks the man he is on an important call, but what does he need.

The man says, "Uh, I am here to turn on your phone."

2. A lawyer goes in for serious and complicated surgery. He wakes up in a recovery room and is groggy. He notices the blinds are closed and the room is fairly dark. He asks the nurse why the blinds are closed and she says.

"There was a fire next door and we didn't want you to think you had died when you woke up."

3. Why don't sharks eat lawyers? Professional courtesy.

4. Why did the good Lord make rats before he made the first attorney? Hey, everyone needs practice.

5. What do you get when you cross a mobster with an attorney? An offer you can't understand, but definitely agree to.

6. What do you call a lawyer that is a bit slow on the uptake? Your Honor.

7. What do unsuccessful lawyers become when they fail at law? Senators.

8. What is 2 + 2 to a lawyer? For ,000, it can be whatever you want.

9. A plaintiff swears an oath before testifying in a civil case seeking damages in the amount of ,000,000. She is asked if she understands what happens if she lies after swearing the oath to tell the truth. She look at the judge and says, "I win!"

Perhaps the funniest anecdotes about the law are the true ones.

A judge in Alabama was placed on suspension after jailing a young mother because she could not recall the address of her home when he asked her.

Lawyer Jokes

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